♥ 2:15 AM
i am supposed to be studying...
but, haha. still deciding whether to wake up earlier to study for test tmr, or study now.
but anyway, i went to BNCOC and came back with a very deep impression of my dept, camp and my cadets.
really a memorable one.
day 1
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it's dark..
i feel lonely and lost
haha, that's because i dk the way to XM and i'm alone that day.
=P
anyway, they were having outdoor cooking then,
many ate uncooked and chao ta rice, haha aiyo.. no skill.
so we had to prepare supper!
first time making so much Milo! haha, so excited.
so on and so on.....
then they had fear factor, Yating told me that i will be needed to facilitate the flow of the activity.
and
Yating: "mam, u'll be at the female toilet , alone"
Rita : "Alone?!!! "
yes, alone...
ARHHH!! cannot! i am scared. i think i'll end up being the frightened one. >.<
haha, so in the end i paired up with jing en , and we stationed in a 'supposed to be' scary room.
tonn all the way, till next morning , repeated the same instructions to 93 trainees, attempted to be ghost with JIng En, Ting Ting Mdm and Willie Sir. haah and!!!
We ALL FAILED!! haha, so funny. TIng Ting mdm is a pro ghost, while Willie Sir can be the back ground sound. haha. good combination.
haha!!
Elyas sir was nice and attempted to acc. me, haha and it turned out to be a fiasco.
ahah, cos he fell asleep on the bench.
haha, day 1 to day 2 (never brush teeth , eeww)
Day 2
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haha, not much impression. cant rmb.
oh! i know! Print certs and make a 2 line speech.
haha, thats all.
Day 3
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Heart-wrenching day.
Jump
Jump
Jump
he came to me, asking me whether i am holding to any keys.
then, he was panting faster than a 'dog' (sorry for using dog, but i cant think of anything that breathe that hard)
asked him to take a deep breath first b4 he went off.
tot the rest of the day will be fine..
BUT
i heard ppl saying that he is crying, wanted to rush there, but Ccy said he'll go and check.
a little worried.
a while later, ccy came back. he told me that he is in S2.
i went "s2? how come?"
ccy said something
....
the next second, i rushed there.
what did i see?
he was gasping hard for air, crying, cramps in the limps, eyes closed. ultra worried.
tried to help. i removed his shoes and so on.
asked for hot water, somehow 'screamed' for it. my fault, sorry. was too worried. should have controlled my emotions.
he start to talk a little, he said he was dizzy.
tears keep rolling down. he was drenched in sweat, mouth open like how goldfish gasps for air.
i started to panic a little (not supposed to)
he murmured 'i am not good enough, i am very blur. wo zuo de bu gou hao'.
omg, tears started to well up in my eyes.
what do you feel when ur cadets tell you something like that?
at that moment, i felt like i am his mother,i want him to stop him from thinking that way, but couldn help to tear each time i tried to speak to him. i want to protect him.
he said he didn show DM his water bottle. he said his course is waiting for him to be the course IC.
when he heard that he's not the camp Ic anymore, he said ''no! he still can be the Camp IC.'' that is when he is still hyperventilating.
='((
heart pain.
i cried, rlly cried, ran to washroom. my cadet lei, aiyo.. =::((
then went back to him.
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it left a deep and vivid impression in my mind.
then during camp fire, he was asked to say how he felt in the camp , something like that.
omg, i teared again.
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it was something for him to learn.
& to the rest, there is a few stages in terms of endurance
weak strong very strong weak
why weak to weak?
- weak : 1 minute of pumping also cannot pull through
- strong : not bad
- very strong : max of endurance, near to exceeding your own body's limitation
- weak: your body couldn take it & u collapse
which is the stage you should reach, you decide.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
♥ 10:58 PM
it's my last day at M&S.
sad day? yes, definitely. i thought i won't feel sad. but i still did.
My 'jay chow' wasn't there, haiz. ultra sad=(
he is having his day off today, so COINCIDENTAL.
PRE-destined, bo bian,
he is my food department workmate anyway, quiet type like jay chow.
got complained a few days b4 his last day, haiz suay him.
studying in university and he plays basketball, that's all, i guess u all know him alrd?
TEO ZENG XIONG
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anyway, why are they so upset by little things?
haiz, work stress? tired? but don't have to throw temper or answer impatiently to my questions right?
♥ 12:24 AM
my tummy is upset today =(
pain pain. washrooms become the most common place i visit =( not a good thing.
caused me to be late this morning at work.
-------
long long time never update already, can't help it, too lazy.
it'll be so good if i have day off everyday, till school re-opens.
i had read one book and a half, haha, for Ms Anne's sake.
well, if only i have a good command of English Language.
a few days ago, i suddenly forgot how to spell fries, and it ended up as frize. GOD!
and i also forgot his telephone number out of the blue. it used to stick like the super glue in my mind. why uh? aiyoh. not senile dementia lei.. hmmm?
btw, my appetite is also growing tremendously. i eat one main course, one tim sum plus one burger almost everyday,omg...my body shape will straighten until it turns bulging out. Nonooo!!
....
can anyone please get the clock / time to stop moving for a day? let me rest, pleasee..
----
leaving M&S at 15 Oct, can't see charles, can't see pris, can't see mira, marilou, peimei, sophia, teo'Mario', fana, jasmine, ler=(
haiz, told u to get the time to stop running, it is equally tired as me, more tired in fact as it has been running and still running.
hmmm, i have to slepp =(
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